I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
