I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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