No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
