Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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