i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
