she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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