I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
