He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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