Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
