Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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