At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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