i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
