Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
