It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
