No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
