i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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