Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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