I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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