The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Still dying that you shit outside
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
