Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
