you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
