so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
