I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
