yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
