It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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