he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
