Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
