Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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