i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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