East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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