What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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