Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
