So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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