whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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