Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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