woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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