Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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