Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
