My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
