I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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