Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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