Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Who died my cat blue again?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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