at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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