Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
