he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
