in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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