My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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