i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
