What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
