pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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