hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
